~ About LOVE
"You need to learn to love yourself more, before you want to learn to love others"
I have been thinking for this phrase, uttered from a friend of mine before we said goodbye infront of Pavilion.
I have been always longing for a partner (thick face XD)
But the reality is, did i really know how to manage myself before i even engaged myself into a r/s?
Am i capable, qualified, knowledgeable, rational enough to handle the r/s?
Then i was shock,
Because the answer is all NOs.......
~ I realize my way of thinking and perceiving issues are not mature enough (childish betul T.T)
~ I realize i not yet solve my "unfinished business" which will (might) influence a r/s indirectly
~ I realize, i didnt have the basis of communicating with guys properly as in how to be "peace" and behave properly (might ended up fighting everyday)
~ I realize, i might be dependent on others if people provides care for me (which i dont want to because i want to be INDEPENDENT)
~ About FRIENDSHIP
Recently i have a good midnight talk with a close friend of mine, of which the conversation made me relief and i finally able to let go the full grasp of my fingers after sooo many years.
Why force myself so hard during the past few years? Why i suffer so much because i want to be other's people best friend? Why ?
I started thinking all this issues during my one month semester break....
I realize, i didnt love myself AT ALL....
I realize, i didnt have a proper plan of my life.......
I realize, i still have many aspects of myself that is not sufficient to excel or
able to survive in this society when i graduate and work in the future...
Thus, few days before, after the conversation, i think and think and think....
I want to achieve my plans...
I want to focus more on myself rather then focusing on other things that are not important..
I will try my BEST to adjust my attitude that,
"Friends, that are meant to be urs, will turn to u eventually
that there are no point for u to keep forcing urself to be theirs...."
I want to improve myself before i said i want to engage in a r/s...
Although i will (am) feel lonely when seeing my friends with their pair
But i will take this period of time to change myself into a better one....
I want a healthy, productive, good-ending ^^ relationship
With a mature ways of handling a r/s, and a happy romantic life (hehhehe ^^)
~~ THE END ~~
