夜里的一篇短文章

以下的内容, 都是本作者夜里的思绪废话
任何的不爽不快,
本作者不会做出任何的赔赏
谢谢!!

刚看到姐说 : 抱怨可以让我们的心大扫除, 让更多的, 能装得进..
很赞同, 所以我时常抱怨
因为我要不好的去掉, 好的统统进来....

突然很想家里面多个小孩
表哥表姐, 唯一的堂哥堂姐
"几时生个小贝比呢?"
喜欢抱着小小的他们, 小小的宝宝在怀里
温暖的, 可爱的, 单纯的......

脸上的面膜, 让我完全不能有任何的脸部动作
如果现在是在吉隆玻应该会被那三个朋友给气死
会反驳, 会生气, 会大笑个不停, 会忍不住张开嘴巴讲话
好想念那里, 但我更爱我的家

小强自从那天就没再出来了
希望他们永远都不要出现在我面前
要不然三更半夜的会把别人给吓醒
如果在我面前走过 ( 我看到了它, 最多我会跳起来或躲开而已)
如果他们要给我个惊喜
比方说, 一开灯就在我脚旁; 或在我头上飞
我发誓我的反应不止这样简单了

死党将去英国一年了
没有了他, 会很不同吧
七年了, 七年的朋友
虽然你很冷, 你很酷, 霎那间会说出大伙儿笑到不停的话
亲爱的你, 我还是会很想念你这位朋友的

一个月的假期, 又不能去做工
论文还没开始写, 死翘翘

上帝,
八月份是个很特别的月份
1. 我妈妈的生日
2. 我爸爸的忌日
3. 一个人的生日
4. 国庆日
5. 公公一百天忌日

我希望这八月, 大家可以和平, 和平再和平
我不想有任何的纷争
伤感情
不要把我最珍惜的朋友皆姐姐给夺走

dedicated to the special "you"

thank you for bringing this "sweet and special" memory to me tonight

thank you for making me double sure that i am not deserved to belong to this family

that i am WORTHLESS for you

that i am just a PIECE OF SHIT in your eyes

a BASTARD that just know how to spend your money all the time

you dont know

how TERROR i am in that situation

that i BEG you to come and help me,

yea, you came

and you scolded me for waking you up from your sleep

and not forget to do your nagging about how BAD i am as a daughter

then continue your sleep

i cried and cried and cried

hoping you will come and help me

FOUR COCKROACHES, in my room


you blame me for not cleaning my room as a result of that BUT


you know what?


those COCKROACHES came out from your boxes that you put inside my room!!


45mins i am on my bed, dont dare to move, and cried so loud


that i am sure you CAN listen


WELL


i guess you cant understand my feeling of

PHOBIA

PHOBIA to COCKROACHES !

dont mentioned about having FOUR there

your reaction tonight, i will not forget it

i understand i dont deserve anything from you

which i will FUCKING shut my mouth up

i will not argue with you like i used to be

i will just keep quiet

i wonder what you will do if it happens to another of your daughter

i am double sure,

your reaction will not be the same

you wont understand the terror.

as you wont understand me ever.

me, myself

Its 0121, everyone is in their warm attracting bed now, where this little mosquito is too full to sleep. Well, exam is finally over, year 3 semester 2 has now over,  6subjects and 2 more semesters is what i need, to complete the course. I am spending one more week in KL and make some plans before i have my long sem break in Klang.

I need to get some dress for my cousin's wedding in this coming November, have a short vacation in Genting with three of my best friends, spend some time with my friend which i can only see in September after this week, and a lot more. On and off i need to go to college to settle my thesis matter also.

Year 3, the final year, is a hectic and different year as compare to the previous one. All the super-brain power-consuming-assignments, interviews, thesis, writing, handle with people, are making me growing up. I feel myself behaving differently where i am no longer the clumsy, easily-frighten when there are issues happening (although sometimes i am still behaving like that...) but all this experiences are pushing me harder to another stage of life. I know it's quite late for me to realize this, especially classes in year 3 prone to let the students have their own set of thinking. Students no longer need to answer questions based on what the textbook mentioned, they need to analyse the situation critically, have their own set of values and thinking. Be matured, be critical.

In HELP, i met different kind of people. Thank God for this as i love having different races friends because i find the culture behind every ethnics are special and interesting. Their food, traditions, the NOs and YESs, their languages, their values.... I learn how to deal with people from different background, this has clear lots of my doubts and stereotypes towards other races. I used to be annoyed with things that i dont really understand, and people i dont know. However, once you get the chance to explore deeper into their tradition, you might change your mind.

I used to be a person that like to criticize people (i am still "practising" it today, a little), even before i know them. I cannot accept their style of actions. Hence, i learn to stand on their shoes, get to think and feel, the reasons behind it. I challenge myself to understand a friend of mine, where i cant understand why my friend always do things differently. Actually in this world, people are trying to protect themselves, as one of my friend always says :"the world is dangerous, pls go back to your Mars". We cant blame them for being defensive, rejecting, cold, and cruel sometimes. Perhaps they have a sad story behind? Perhaps they have gone through a hard time that we dont know? Different people different style, that's the amazing things of people. We cant find the exact same people in this world. Out of so many creatures, why God put all this people beside me? Faith, i guess...

2 more semesters, and i will be on my own feet, get into the society and start labouring myself. Its time to be seriously and consider about what i am going to do next. A degree in Psychology, a diploma in Social Science, a sincere heart to..... The future is so dark, so unclear, can i survive?

Recently my best friend just move in to her new house, and she is having a major issue - cockroaches !! Everyday she's hitting the cockroaches, dont know how many have died under her shoes. I am imagining, if its me and my roomate where we are facing this, all we can, and will do, will be screaming and shouting and running inside the house hoping other people can move the cockroaches away. My serious phobias to cockroaches, lizards, insects, furry cats that appeared suddenly, snakes, dirt, are getting serious. Through my friend's case, I know that i should be appreciating of what i am having now, instead of complaining. Because i have more, than what others are having now.

And recently, i got to know one of my primary school mate, that used to sit beside me during Standard One, got into an accident. He's in coma for a few months, after going through massive surgeries he finally woke up. But he lost the ability to move and talk. He's in the stage of recovering recently. I remember well about this friend, although we didnt contact each other after secondary school. His mother used to buy me coconut sweets, treated me well when i am small. I got so shock when i know he's in this current situation. My heart ache in pain with his pictures that lying on the wheelchair. Pray hard, sincerely, for him to recover.... That's life? One minute u are alive, another minute, perhaps, you are different with what you are now?  


Appreciate, and appreciate. 

College

There are two more semesters to go, and i will be officially graduate from HELP....

Two years time i have been here, from initially complain of wake up early everyday;

No class also need to purposely attend college to participate in experiments;

Hectic 1.5hours transportation per journey;

Cannot adapt to HELP campus life;

etc...

I start to enjoy my college life starting this semester.

I complain less, i rather to stay longer in college together with my friends.

I enjoy doing my thesis with my cute partner.

I like the stupid things we did in school...

I will definately miss all my college mates when we graduate,

Because i know it will be so hard since everyone of us will go to separate paths....

Sharon, Sharmilah, Belle, Nichole, Shyuan, Fish, Nev, James..

And many many new friends that i met lately~~

I cant imagine my life without you guys~~

People say, college is the time where friends can treat each other without having to consider and guard self..

Yeap, it's true...